Thursday, December 18, 2008
- I get choice parking options wherever I go being that I can fit into tight spaces
- My speeding tickets have been drastically reduced since I can't get over 60mph.
- I enjoy the sensation of my hair brushing against the roof. Lets me know I still have some up there.
- Being a manual transmission (my first), I can't multitask while I drive. No eating, cell phone, sudoku, naps. Those were good times.
- I don't have to go to work when it snows since I can't get out of the driveway.
- It cost me $8 to fill up the 5 gallon tank yesterday!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."
Sunday, November 2, 2008
1. My English is no very good looking. Ever since my Spanish speaking mission ended six years ago, I have had a doosy of a time trying to formulate basic sentences. Don’t get me wrong, I have always used words like ‘Fashlight’ but now I am downright silly. Sqooze should be a word. “I sqoozed the Charmin.” It’s a good thing I have a wife who can help correct me so I don’t make a fool of myself in a meeting down the road.
2. I love music, especially Caribbean music. I dare say that I listen to the XM Radio Spanish channel 90% of the time while I am in the car. Salsa, bachata, merengue, and reggaeton. I crank it and I know every song. I don’t know when I will grow out of it but the fever is stronger than ever. !Viva la revolucion!
3. I am extremely annoyed by loud eaters in quiet environments…almost to the point of insanity. I could be moments away from trying to save the world by disabling a huge atomic bomb and be distracted by some joe in the room eating CornNuts. It would be beyond my ability to focus and I would probably be asking: “Who eats CornNuts?! Seriously?! Especially in confined spaces!” BOOM….World Ends.
Luckily my wife and baby don’t get on my nerves and for those around me I try to eat as silently as possible. I have even sucked on a chip at work until it has lost its crunch.
4. According to my wife, I sing and dance everywhere I go. I am told this is quite strange and many consider this a quirk. She says it wouldn’t be so bad if I would sing in a normal range instead of high pitched voice. I have joked that she would push me off a cliff to stop me from singing in public. Apparently, she embarrasses easy. I wonder if that was one of her quirks.
5. I have a little case of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). It’s rather mild and entails little routines like lathering up in the shower in the same order every time (to me it’s efficient), cooking eggs down to a science (consistent breakfast), and sometimes it takes a couple of seconds to draw the number 3; the pen just doesn’t move (it’s about symmetry). And there is the little detail about drawing shapes with my stomach. It started with a foot or a hand that would make a shape on accident and I would follow it with repetitive patterns trying to create the perfect shape. Once I got married, I became aware of it and was able to tone it down. Problem is once I breath (which is like all the time) my stomach moves up and down. That usually results in a shape being draw with my stomach. Usually it’s a Christmas tree or a heart or a spade. Symmetrical objects. Who doesn’t do that?
6. Oh, and when I use the restroom in the middle of the night, I don’t turn the light on. That would just wake me up. Duh.
Now that wasn’t so bad. I guess I am pretty normal after all.
I don’t think there is anyone left to tag so I will go with…Luke Perry, Alejandro from the burrito stand, Taylor Grace, Creed Bratton, my cousin Louie, and high school Adam.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
If you frequently walk your dog in a park or any other public area, there are pretty strict laws against picking up all of the poopy which your pup excretes. I mean, they probably won’t perform a DNA test on the crap to track you down, but if you’re caught, there’s a hefty fine. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we don’t want to be anywhere near dog poop, period.
This handy Wearable Dog Toilet might not be the most pleasant product to strap on to your pet, but at least it saves you the worry of bending your lazy ass over to pick up after your own dog which you wanted “So badly!” in the first place. No, but really, don’t buy this. Just stop being lazy and wash your hands more often. But I digress.
That being said, this Dog Toilet straps right on to your dog’s body and includes a little expanding turd deposit cup right under the canine’s rear. So when your dog makes a deposit, the Dog Toilet is right there to clean up the mess.
But now, of course, you have to live with the fact that just because you don’t like bending over to pick up your dog’s poop, that you’re forcing your beloved pet to walk around with a cup full of their own poo strapped to their body. Does this not seem just a tad bit, hmm, I don’t know, cruel and unusual? Just a thought.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
An excerpt from experienceproject.com:
Alfonso Ribeiro was a fixture as a child TV star in the 1980s and 1990s. His most famous role, as spoiled rich kid Carlton Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air brought him accolades and tons of laughs-- mostly AT him, not with him.
Not only did he serve as the butt of Fresh Prince star Will Smith's jokes (which often targeted Ribeiro's diminuitive height), but his physical mannerisms provided pure comedy of their own-- most notably the infamous "Carlton Dance." The Carlton Dance was a ridiculous yet oddly enchanting dance, usually to Tom Jones' "It's not Unusual". Since actions speak louder than words, check out this compilation.
Click here to find out more than you'll every need to know about Carlton.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
What can you expect to gain from this blog? I will dedicate long hours during the week to searching the internet to find the kind of stories that I find interesting and funny. Occasionally you will find stories/pictures about my family but that is mainly reserved for the adamtaraandtaylor.blogspot.com (copyright reserved) which is religiously maintained by my dear wife Tara.
I do desire that any success that comes to you from reading my blog be credited back to its creator. Enjoy and Gleedspeed fellow bloggers!